"Face the Fact"

"I'm in sorrow. Psychologically, I'm terribly disturbed; and I have an idea about it: What I should do, what I should not do, how it should be changed. That Idea, that formula, that concept prevents me from looking at the fact of what is. Ideation and the formula are escapes from what is. There is immediate action when there is great danger. Then you have no idea. You don't formulate an idea then act according to that idea. The mind has become lazy, indolent, through a formula which has given it a means of escape from action with regard to what is.  Seeing for ourselves the whole structure of what has been said, not because it has been pointed out to us, is it possible to face the fact; the fact that we are violent, as an example?  We are violent human beings, and we have chosen violence as the way of life--war and all the rest of it.  Though we talk everlastingly, especially in the east, of nonviolence, we are not nonviolent people; we are violent people. The idea of nonviolence is an idea, which can be used politically. That's a different meaning, but it is an idea, and not a fact.  Because the human being is incapable of meeting the fact of violence, he has invented the ideal of nonviolence, which prevents him from dealing with the fact.  After al, the fact is that I'm violent; I'm angry.  What is the need of an idea? It is not the idea of being angry; it's the actual fact of being angry that is important, like the actual fact of being hungry.  There's no idea about being hungry. The idea then comes as to what you should eat, and then according to the dictates of pleasure, you eat.  There is only action with regard to what is when there is no idea of what should be done about that which confronts you, which is what is. "


This really speaks to me, as psychologically I have been in pain through the last few years because of so many family members and friends that past away. One of my best friends died in May, and he spoke of the idea of nonviolence. This is strange that this passage is the one I am reading today, as I felt sick at work today because I thought of him and how he will not be around to learn more in school, or touch more people with the magic that lives within him.  He was a very special person. The fact that my mind has gotten lazy, is an understatement.  As I did maa Saraswati mantra this morning before work, I realized that I am having trouble clearing my mind and I am focusing way too much on the day ahead of me.  If I could only push the conflict out of my mind, the violence so to speak.. and fill this with empty calmness it would be reassuring that I still have a chance. Though, this will come with time I suppose.. one day it will 'click'.  I highly doubt the entire planet will ever catch on to the concept of nonviolence, but it is wishful thinking.. one more person can help though.  So, in the bigger picture.. the last sentence of this is saying that there is only action and no idea of what should be done with which confronts you... i'm going to take this as someone trying to tell me that I cannot stress about this powerful 'happening' that is about to go down at the end of the year, with me moving and my bf going into the Marines. I'm going to take this as a wake up call, saying that the only thing to be done is action... not to wait around for the idea to grow, but to put everything in action and that which confronts me will be what is.