"Freedom from What Is"

"Being virtuous comes through the understanding of what is, whereas becoming virtuous is postponement, the covering up of what is with what you would like to be. Therefore, in becoming virtuous you are avoiding action directly upon what is.  This process of avoiding what is through the cultivation os the ideal is considered virtuous; but if you look at it closely and directly you will see that it is nothing of the kind. It is merely a postponement of coming face to face with what is. Virtue is not the becoming of what is not; virtue is the understanding of what is and therefore the freedom from what is. Virtue is essential in a society that is rapidly disintegrating." 


I awoke early this morning around 8:35am and worked on my mantra, I did 80 today which is very good.  This meditation I have been thinking about writing all day, I read it this morning and I have been pondering what to say about it and I have yet to come to a decent conclusion. This one you could think about for a life time and never truly come to a decision on what it should me for you.  I know it is a kick in the rump for me... someone telling me to stop postponing my future and come face to face with the challenges that are before me.  The only way to get through conflict as it present itself is to face it head on.  I need this freedom, and this is found in the freedom from what is. And right now, what is, is my challenges that are approaching oh so quickly. I don't want to keep covering up what needs to be done, which is for me to move and find a job. I don't need to keep the pause button down on my life for too long, if I am unhappy I need to put action into my life and face this head on.  Tonight I will lay this to rest and tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow I will begin again with a new mantra and a new passion, I will move forward and see myself in the mirror as a new being, because this new being will focus face to face with what is, and move forward with great action, to feel the freedom from what is.

"Face the Fact"

"I'm in sorrow. Psychologically, I'm terribly disturbed; and I have an idea about it: What I should do, what I should not do, how it should be changed. That Idea, that formula, that concept prevents me from looking at the fact of what is. Ideation and the formula are escapes from what is. There is immediate action when there is great danger. Then you have no idea. You don't formulate an idea then act according to that idea. The mind has become lazy, indolent, through a formula which has given it a means of escape from action with regard to what is.  Seeing for ourselves the whole structure of what has been said, not because it has been pointed out to us, is it possible to face the fact; the fact that we are violent, as an example?  We are violent human beings, and we have chosen violence as the way of life--war and all the rest of it.  Though we talk everlastingly, especially in the east, of nonviolence, we are not nonviolent people; we are violent people. The idea of nonviolence is an idea, which can be used politically. That's a different meaning, but it is an idea, and not a fact.  Because the human being is incapable of meeting the fact of violence, he has invented the ideal of nonviolence, which prevents him from dealing with the fact.  After al, the fact is that I'm violent; I'm angry.  What is the need of an idea? It is not the idea of being angry; it's the actual fact of being angry that is important, like the actual fact of being hungry.  There's no idea about being hungry. The idea then comes as to what you should eat, and then according to the dictates of pleasure, you eat.  There is only action with regard to what is when there is no idea of what should be done about that which confronts you, which is what is. "


This really speaks to me, as psychologically I have been in pain through the last few years because of so many family members and friends that past away. One of my best friends died in May, and he spoke of the idea of nonviolence. This is strange that this passage is the one I am reading today, as I felt sick at work today because I thought of him and how he will not be around to learn more in school, or touch more people with the magic that lives within him.  He was a very special person. The fact that my mind has gotten lazy, is an understatement.  As I did maa Saraswati mantra this morning before work, I realized that I am having trouble clearing my mind and I am focusing way too much on the day ahead of me.  If I could only push the conflict out of my mind, the violence so to speak.. and fill this with empty calmness it would be reassuring that I still have a chance. Though, this will come with time I suppose.. one day it will 'click'.  I highly doubt the entire planet will ever catch on to the concept of nonviolence, but it is wishful thinking.. one more person can help though.  So, in the bigger picture.. the last sentence of this is saying that there is only action and no idea of what should be done with which confronts you... i'm going to take this as someone trying to tell me that I cannot stress about this powerful 'happening' that is about to go down at the end of the year, with me moving and my bf going into the Marines. I'm going to take this as a wake up call, saying that the only thing to be done is action... not to wait around for the idea to grow, but to put everything in action and that which confronts me will be what is.

"Reality Is in What Is"

"Instead of asking who has realized or what God is, why not give your whole attention and awareness to what is? Then you will find the unknown, or rather it will come to you. If you understand what is the known, you will experience that extraordinary silence that is not induced, but enforced, that creative emptiness in which alone reality can enter. It cannot come to that which is becoming, which is striving; it can only come to that which is being, which understands what is. Then you will see that reality is not in the distance; the unknown is not far off; it is in what is. As the answer to a problem is in the problem, so reality is in what is; if we can understand it, then we shall know truth."  

In this meditation for today, the part that reaches towards me is the silence that is enforced. I believe everyone needs that creative emptiness where reality enters. But you have to be 'is being', not striving for being, but actually being. When you are here, you will understand what is and can try to grasp reality when it enters in. The unknown used to be a fear for me, but lately I have come to realize that it should be exciting, and less fearful. A friend told me that the unknown is something so exciting and is the only constant, because your life is ever changing. So, if you can grasp what is, and live it, then the truth of reality will show itself. This is very powerful and I thank you Krishnamurti for this tonight. Tomorrow I will be posting in the morning, as this is a bit to heavy for sleep material. I think I need all day for these meditations to sink in.

The beginning

So, this is me, trying to find some meaning in my life while I am transitioning between my bachelor's degree and graduate school. I have always needed something to grasp onto and call my own, and until recently I never thought that this something could be 'myself'. I have always been in long term relationships, and the one I am in now will be going on 8 years in March of 2011. This has stunted my spiritual growth, as well as finding a true purpose that reflects me. In the next few months, my boyfriend will be moving on with his life and enlisting in the Marines, and I will be moving somewhere else in the United States to finish my studies in Psychology. This will be a HUGE journey for the both of us, and I am hoping it will happen without large speed bumps. Although we will be headed in different directions, we both will be moving somewhere in our lives. My life, as of right now, is a little bit on pause. I am doing this to gather my thoughts and gain a new perspective on this life. So, I went and bought a book! I know, shocker... Well, this book I found in the Hinduism section of the local bookstore, it is titled: "The Book of Life, Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti" By: J. Krishnamurti.  So, anything inside quotations located in my blog, is from this book... Just to make things clear so I do not get singled out for plagiarism.  


So, tonight begins the journey. I will try to do this in the morning with my mantras, but if I do not have time, I will post in the evening. Please go out and buy the book, so we can do this together! I would like as much feed back, only positive, as possible. I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I will.